freedom would never knock
And if it takes longer than 30 minutes, your freedom is free.
If you experience freedom lasting four hours or more, contact your physician immediately.
eagle sold separately
*Some restrictions apply.
batteries not included
limited time offer
side effects may include liberty and justice for all
this entire country is crazy.
but wait, theres more!! Call in the next 10 minutes and we’ll DOUBLE YOUR FREEDOM!! That’s right, TWICE the freedom.
You know what mom… Yea, I’m pissed you went out drinking again. I’m so sorry that I’m being unfair, that I had to pay last month’s comEd bill because they were gonna turn off the electricity, that I struggle everyday with how I’m going to pay for school, that half of the purchases on the credit card I can’t pay off were made by you, that you have spent every dime I have ever saved since I was little, that I now pay for weight watchers and a gym membership because growing up all you fed me was McDonald’s, and that I am currently struggling through a major that I hate with a passion because I absolutely refuse to be anything like you. I apologize that I worry about you driving a company car home from the bar after a beer too many. And yea, totally my bad that I want better for you, that I get pissed that your bosses treat you like a damn slave, and that I want you to move into an apartment that isn’t full of mold and cockroaches. Also, while I’m apologizing, let me just say sorry for being a Strickler. I am so sorry that you and my father did not know what a damn condom was. I really am a selfish bitch for maintaining a very rocky and minimal relationship with my father. I mean honestly… how dare I??
Yorkshire, it’s the Florida of the UK.
Me at school.
How History Books Will Remember The Government Shut Down: A Masterpost
i never want this post to die
its killin me,
i’ve never felt so close to a pokemon
not true. tells marisa i miss her erry day tho.
my accounting prof is giving back the midterms and im just like…